


again and again kiss

by geguri (lgbtksoo)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29935176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtksoo/pseuds/geguri
Summary: Jeonghan wakes up with a sore throat.
Relationships: Lee Seokmin | DK/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62





	again and again kiss

**Author's Note:**

> surprise!!!! happy birthday, ariana! you are a lovely friend and i'm grateful to know you. we all need a little bit of warmth in our days, and i hope this can feel especially warm for you on your special day. i've been feeling a little writer's blocked lately, so i fretted a little bit over this ;_; i'm a little nervous posting but regardless, i hope i can convey some of my affection for you and our friendship through this. happy, happy birthday!!!
> 
> title is from an excerpt of e.e. cummings, excerpt of _i like my body when it is with your body_ : 
> 
> “I like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling firm-smoothness and which I will again and again and again kiss,"

Jeonghan wakes up with a sore throat. 

Mornings have never been easy for him. Too often, the mornings feel as if he is dragging himself through sludge, kicking up mud in his attempts to just _wrench_ his eyes open and to start the day. In his first two years of university, he tried to instill a sense of self-discipline by registering for morning courses with the intention of finishing early in the day. By third year, he learned his lesson. Not even the reward of seeing Seokmin’s bright smile was enough to get him out of bed before noon. 

And so when he wakes up to an ominous prickliness at the back of his throat, Jeonghan determinedly shuts his eyes again. He can feel his sinuses swelling, and a burgeoning fogginess that promises to only worsen. 

The day hasn’t started yet—he refuses to let it start. If he squeezes his eyes shut and keeps the blankets over his head, maybe the itch in his throat will go away. He only has one class today. He can afford to skip it.

Except his hopes are dashed when there’s a courtesy knock on the door before his roommate swarms right into his room before Jeonghan has a chance to answer. Automatically, his body braces itself for impact—and like clockwork, Soonyoung jumps onto his bed and clings to the Jeonghan-shaped lump over the blankets. 

“Hyung!” he says, right in Jeonghan’s ear, too bright and cheery for the miserable morning. “Let’s get coffee on our way to campus! Junnie just texted me and said they have my favourite mocha bread today.”

Jeonghan tries not to groan as he shifts on the bed, shuffling under the blankets until he wiggles his head out. He stares blearily at Soonyoung’s cherubic face, and despite his grumpiness, he softens a little when he sees the excited edge to Soonyoung’s smile. “Wonwoo’s working today then, huh?” he says, all too aware of Soonyoung’s crush on the barista in their favourite cafe, and their months-long courtship and dance revolving around baked goods. His voice comes out hoarse. 

Immediately, the excitement on Soonyoung’s face shifts into concern. “Oh no,” he says, his lips worked into a frown. “What’s wrong with your voice?” He gently lays the back of his hand against Jeonghan’s forehead. Then, as if a thought has slammed into him, Soonyoung’s eyes grow wide and scandalized as he flinches back like he’s been burnt. “Or did Seokmin—”

“No!” Jeonghan cuts in, embarrassed. He clears his throat. The prickly itch persists. “No, I don’t know. I just woke up like this. With a sore throat.”

Soonyoung purses his lip as he feels Jeonghan’s forehead again. “You do feel a little warmer than usual,” he says worriedly. His forehead creases. “Maybe you should stay home.”

“‘Was already planning on it,” Jeonghan says, and smiles weakly at Soonyoung. When Soonyoung doesn’t move, Jeonghan reaches out and pinches his nose. “You should go or you’ll be late for class. Wonwoo’s probably wondering when you’ll show up too.”

His words seem to work as Soonyoung is momentarily distracted from his concern. A light blush tints Soonyoung’s face. “Shut up, why would he!” he blusters before tugging Jeonghan’s hand away. He doesn’t let go, squeezing gently at his hand. “Want me to tell Seokmin you won’t be going to class?”

At his name, Jeonghan softens. “No, I’ll just text him. But if he tries to come here, you better hold him back for me.” 

He’s certain he’ll wake up feeling better after a nap—and he knows how Seokmin gets when he’s worried. The last thing Jeonghan wants is to bother him. 

Soonyoung doesn’t seem convinced. “If you say so, hyung.” He squeezes Jeonghan’s hand once more and climbs out of bed. “Now let me get you some medicine before I head out.”  


* * *

  
Jeonghan wakes up feeling worse. The fuzzy feeling in his head has expanded into a throbbing headache, and his body shivers with the heat of a fever. Groggily, his hands fumble with his phone.

The time has trickled over into the late afternoon now. He’s napped longer than he had expected, evident both from the tiny clock on the corner of his screen and the several texts that Seokmin had left for him. 

**From ❤️💖:**   
_oh no hyung :( how are you feeling??_   
_i hope you’re napping ㅠㅠ_   
_i saw soonyoungie hyung and he told me you said not to come :( whyyy_   
_hyung i hope you’re okay ㅠㅠㅠㅠ_

All at once, reading Seokmin’s text, Jeonghan feels a sudden pang. His heart squeezes and constricts in his chest. He misses Seokmin. The last time they saw each other was only two days ago, but suddenly, Jeonghan wants nothing more than to see his smiling face. 

But Seokmin has been stressed with his upcoming auditions, and Jeonghan knows that during these periods when he’s preparely intensely for the role, he does better when he works alone. 

_i’m okay_ , Jeonghan types out, and adds a heart at the end of the message. _i’ve just been napping. don’t come!! i’ll get minghao to sit on you if you do!_

A response comes in only a couple seconds after Jeonghan hits send.

**From ❤️💖:**   
_jeonghan hyung 🥺_

He’s distracted from Seokmin’s next messages when he hears the front door creak open, followed by a clatter of shoes. Moments later, a soft knock resounds at his door. 

“Hyung?” says Soonyoung.

Jeonghan shifts and drops the phone back down onto his pillow. “Still here,” he calls out, clearing his throat when his voice comes out even huskier than that morning. 

The door opens just enough for Soonyoung to poke his head through. Jeonghan must look as awful as he feels; Soonyoung’s frown deepens and he takes a step into the room. “Oh, hyung,” he says pityingly.

“I’m fine,” Jeonghan tries to say, feebly waving his hand, but the universe decides to choose that exact moment to work against him because as soon as he says this, he dissolves into a fit of coughs. 

Soonyoung looks startled, and disappears back through the door. He returns with a mug of hot water. “Hyung,” he says admonishingly as he pats Jeonghan’s back while he coughs. 

“A-Are you heading back out to dance practice?” Jeonghan croaks, taking the mug with a grateful smile. He takes a sip and lets the warmth slide down his throat. 

“Mm.” Soonyoung eyes him anxiously and helps him set the mug down on his bedside table. “Are you going to be okay? Is Seokmin coming by?”

He shakes his head—or he tries to—and winces when his headache worsens. “No, he’s busy,” Jeonghan says. 

“I really think he’d prefer knowing you were okay, hyung...”

Jeonghan sighs. Patting Soonyoung on the back of his head, he smiles at his roommate. “I probably just need more sleep,” he insists, shrugging off the dubious look on Soonyoung’s face. “Stop worrying about me and go to practice, Soonyoung-ah.” 

He lets Soonyoung fuss over him before he leaves. Soonyoung doesn’t lecture him, but he plies more vitamins down Jeonghan’s throat and heats up some of their leftovers from last night. The fried rice disagrees with him though, and Jeonghan can hardly force himself to swallow more than a few bites. 

By the time Soonyoung leaves again, just half an hour later, Jeonghan feels bleary enough that he doesn’t fight it when Soonyoung pushes him back into bed. He misses Seokmin more than ever, even though they’ve been texting back and forth. 

As if on queue, his phone lights up with another notification. 

**From ❤️💖:**   
_where did you goooo_   
_i miss you 💖_

It’s sappy, but the words lift his spirit and he smiles at his phone. He types back.

_i miss you too~ let’s hang out soon okay? after your audition_

And when Jeonghan falls back asleep this time, it’s with a smile on his face. Even if he can’t see Seokmin yet, this is enough.  


* * *

  
Later, Jeonghan wakes up again to a cool hand resting on his forehead. He shivers. His eyelids weigh a thousand tons, and it’s a struggle to even try to pry them open.

“Sorry,” says a voice, soft and gentle and as perfect as Jeonghan remembers. Jeonghan opens his eyes, his lips already curved into a smile by the time he meets Seokmin’s gaze. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

Jeonghan tries to sit up, but when he shivers again from his fever, Seokmin pulls his hand away and pulls the blanket tighter around him instead. Giving up, Jeonghan sighs. “Hey, you,” he says, and flushes at the hoarse sound of his own voice. He had been hoping his fever would subside by the time he’d woken up again, but Jeonghan feels as miserable as ever. 

It’s only slightly better now that Seokmin’s here. 

“I made you some congee,” Seokmin continues, a concerned expression on his face, “I know you might not be hungry, but you should get something in you. Let me heat some up?” 

Seokmin’s right—he’s not hungry. But there’s an expression on Seokmin’s face, one that’s so earnest and full of affection that Jeonghan thinks he could never fully deserve. How could he say no to that face? He nods, and gratitude wraps its gentle hold around his heart when Seokmin smiles at him.

“I’ll be right back,” Seokmin promises. He leans down to press a chaste kiss to the crown on Jeonghan’s forehead before he leaves the room. 

While he’s gone, Jeonghan scans through his phone notifications. There’s a text from Soonyoung who sent nothing but a blushing tiger sticker, and one from Seungcheol about joining him for MapleStory. While he’d been napping, Seokmin’s sent a few texts as well, including a selfie of him with his script. 

When Seokmin walks back into the room with a bowl and a mug in his hand, Jeonghan is still smiling at the photo. He drops his phone back down, and lets Seokmin help him sit up against the headboard. 

Between the two of them, Seokmin has always been the better cook. The congee is hot—though cooled down first by Seokmin, who blows on the spoon before handing it to Jeonghan to feed himself—but its warmth blankets over him in familiar and comforting ways. With Seokmin’s soft eyes on him and the heat of the congee, Jeonghan polishes the bowl easily. 

“Hey, Seokmin?” Jeonghan murmurs as he places the bowl back down onto the bedside table, right where Seokmin had placed the mug he had been carrying earlier. 

Seokmin fixes the blankets around him. “Hm?” 

“How did you know to come?” 

“I was worried, and Soonyoung hyung texted me,” Seokmin confesses, absentmindedly running his hand through Jeonghan’s hair. “You should’ve told me it was this bad, hyung. You said it was just a small headache.” 

There’s no hurt in Seokmin’s voice, but Jeonghan reaches out for him anyway, their fingers entangling as he squeezes Seokmin’s hand in reassurance. “You’re busy—I didn’t want to bother you,” he admits. “I didn’t want to distract you. I’ll get better after some sleep and some meds.” 

Warmth diffuses through him and eases some of the guilt when Seokmin automatically begins playing with his fingers, his larger hand dwarfing Jeonghan’s own as Seokmin strokes his thumb over Jeonghan’s knuckles in slow, small circles. “You’re silly sometimes, you know that?” Seokmin says, but his voice is nothing but gentle. “Of course I want to be here.”

For all of his delicate looks, Jeonghan rarely gets sick. Even when he does, he’s hardly ever been this bad—taken down by a fever, bedridden for the day and unconscious for most of it. Each time he’s been sick, Seokmin has been there for it all, even before they started dating in their second year of university. 

And that’s just the thing, isn’t it? Jeonghan likes to think of himself as self-aware. He knows he can be high-maintenance; even when he sleeps, the room can’t be too hot or too cold, it can’t be too bright, it can’t be too noisy. His blankets have to be made of cotton, soft and hypoallergenic, and his mattress can’t be too pliable or too firm. When he’s sick, he knows he can be even worse. Grumpy, short with others, demanding. Yet, at the same time, too passive-aggressive to voice his needs.

Despite it all, Seokmin has always been there. Unflinchingly, unfailingly, he’s been there. A constant. And not once—not even _once_ —has he ever made Jeonghan feel like he’s _too_ much. 

Seokmin sits down on the bed and hands Jeonghan the mug he carried in earlier. “Here, I made you some tea. Green tea, with just a bit of honey. I let it cool a little bit, just as you like it!” He holds out his hand to Jeonghan, and his face holds so, _so_ much gentleness. Seokmin is always _so_ gentle with Jeonghan.

Jeonghan wants to spend the rest of his life returning that gentleness. 

He takes the tea in his hand. Jeonghan brings it to his chest, and lets the warmth seep into his skin through his sweater. His head throbs painfully, his throat feels raw and swollen, his entire body wracked with a heavy, sluggish weight. But in this moment, with Seokmin next to him, Jeonghan doesn’t feel _any_ of it.

“Seokmin,” Jeonghan murmurs, his eyes trained on the mug in his hands. “I— I just...thank you.”

Seokmin laughs a little, and it’s his perfect, little laugh. It’s the laugh that makes Jeonghan feel like the world is a safer place, now that Seokmin is here. The laugh that has him wanting to bask in the joy and affection that Seokmin gives him so readily, to luxuriate in it. It’s the laugh that when he looks up at Seokmin, Jeonghan can’t help but think, _oh_ and _this is what love looks like_. 

“I love you, hyung,” Seokmin says. He reaches out for Jeonghan’s other hand and entangles their fingers together. “I love you so much.”

There’s so much warmth and love in Seokmin’s voice, and Jeonghan’s heart clenches almost painfully. His heart is more full than he knows how to handle it. He didn’t know he could feel this deeply until he met Seokmin.

Jeonghan isn’t the young, naive boy he was when they first met. He’s let Seokmin strip him of his barriers time and time again, has learned to let down his guard and to hold himself safely in Seokmin’s embrace. Still, he’s not prepared for the rawness of emotion that builds in his stomach, climbing up through his throat until his eye stings with unshed tears.

Seokmin notices—of course he does—and his silly, lovable, beautiful face immediately morphs into panicked concern. “Oh— Oh no. Jeonghan—” He kneels beside the bed, eyes searching his with desperation, his large hands cupping Jeonghan’s face so delicately that it makes Jeonghan want to cry harder. “Oh, hyung. What’s wrong?” 

Sniffing, Jeonghan shakes his head. “No, I—” 

His words get caught in his throat, too choked up to finish.

“Don’t cry.” Seokmin looks teary-eyed himself. That crybaby, Jeonghan thinks, and his heart swells with so much love that he thinks he’ll explode. Seokmin sniffles. “Please don’t cry.” 

Through teary eyes, Jeonghan smiles at Seokmin. “Silly,” he says, wetly. “Look who’s talking. Aigoo, you crybaby.” 

And then, with all that he can think of to do, he leans down and presses the gentlest, sweetest kiss against the beauty mark on Seokmin’s cheek. His hands find Seokmin’s, and Jeonghan brings them down from his face and into his lap. He smiles at Seokmin.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jeonghan says. He presses another kiss into Seokmin’s skin, this time on his knuckles. “Nothing’s wrong. I just— you know I love you right?”

“Of course,” Seokmin says. He cradles Jeonghan’s hands in his own. “I know, hyung. Of course I do.” 

Jeonghan wipes the tears from his face. “Good.” He lets out a laugh, and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I’m just— I’m just glad that you’re here. That’s all. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

The worried look doesn’t fade even after Jeonghan coaxes Seokmin back onto the bed. Seokmin gives Jeonghan a once over. He leans closer, pressing a gentle kiss to Jeonghan’s forehead. “I love you,” he says, carding his hand through Jeonghan’s hair. “And I know that you take such good care of me too, hyung. You do, don’t you?” 

Jeonghan laughs. “I try my best,” he says.

Seokmin just smiles, warm like the sun and just as beautiful. “I know you do. You’re so good to me.” He tucks a wayward strand of hair behind Jeonghan’s ear. “Of course I’m here. I’ll _always_ be here. Just like you have been for me, all these years.” 

Jeonghan nods, and this time, he lets himself bask in Seokmin’s warmth. “I love you,” he says again. All that he can say, really.

And it’s enough. Seokmin leans close again, kisses him on the spot under his eye, right where Jeonghan knows he has a beauty mark too. “I love you too.”

Next week, when Seokmin falls sick just a few days after his auditions, Jeonghan _does_ take care of him. 

He makes sure that Seokmin feels as loved as he makes Jeonghan feel.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed reading this little comfort fic and please do let me know your thoughts!!! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/tofufiower) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/lgbtksoo)


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